A funny, disastrous, Christian 20-something and her friends describe their funny, disastrous and sometimes not-so-Christian dates.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Smell of Smart

Another gem from Philomena, who I think should really start a blog of her own...

She writes:

Dear Disastress,

Since you are happily (and incredibly luckily) off the market, I feel like it might be my destiny to continue the awkward dating experiences. I've already sent you my mathematician. Here is the accidental dating adventure I would like to title "The Smell of Smart."


Since today is going to be quite taxing and I need to look my best for work, I decided to skip the gym last night, go home, do a small load of dark woollite laundry so I could wash my go-to black dress, and then get some sushi from my little local hole-in-the-wall place. So I went home, sorted out some dark clothes to wash together in the gentle cycle, put on my long-sleeved waffle-knit shirt with a sports bra, my slightly too big, but too comfortable to get rid of just yet knee-length jean bermuda shorts, and just braided my hair in pigtails. I threw my brown crocs on and slung my laundry bag over my shoulder and headed off to the laundromat that is a block more away, but is $0.50 cheaper a load. (We're in a recession, folks. I'll walk a little further if, on a big load laundry day, I can save $3.)

I got my laundry started, took a walk to peer in the window of the new wine bar that opened up just a few blocks west, went back and added my fabric softener. By this point, I just waited until my washer rinse and spin cycles were done so I put the clothes in the dryer on low and decided to go and grab some dinner. I had my book with me and about 30 minutes to kill.

NOTE: Please note that NOWHERE in the story so far am I looking for a date or even trying to talk to other people around me. Dating in New York City can kind of suck and I'm starting to give up on the idea of meeting a mysterious stranger when I'm out. And, there is a chance I have a date on Friday. Seriously, I just needed to clean my black dress and get some nourishment.

I went into Tokyo Sushi and my favorite little guy was working and he said "Order to go?" because normally I just pick-up dinner and head home. I said no, I'll stay this evening and he put me at a little table by myself.

As you probably know, I can be a bit of a creature of habit. When I order from Tokyo, I always order the Vegetable Tempura Roll, either a salmon or tuna roll, and occasionally if I'm especially hungry the Avocado Mint Maki with Plum Sauce. For some reason last night, my little guy brought over the menu and I was really trying to decide what I wanted and was TRYING to branch out. There was a man sitting at the sushi counter who was just paying so he walks by and sees that I am trying very hard to decide and he says "It's all delicious!" I looked up and said "pardon" and he repeated "It's all delicious!" I laughed nervously and hoped he would continue on his way. NO SUCH LUCK. He proceeds to say "Hi, I'm Mario. Can I sit down?"

I am so stunned that I just say sure and Mario sits down and orders himself a beer, eats my complimentary edamame, and proceeds to talk to me. Mario was born in the US, but grew up in Croatia. I am so confused that all of this is going on I am just sitting there in disbelief. Mario asks why I am making this face and I said "It isn't everyday a stranger asks to join my table." He then says "So, where is your boyfriend tonight?" (Ugh. Really?) I say I don't have a boyfriend (true) because I work long hours and it is hard to meet people in the city (true). He says:

"I can't believe it! I mean you're cute and you're confident and I was walking by and you just, you just smelled smart."


Mario the Croatian continues to make small talk and I continue to try and deflect questions about where I live or where exactly I work by making gross generalizations. I finish my sushi and Mario requests the check. My little sushi guy says "one check or two?" to which I say two and Mario says "ONE!" He insists on paying for my dinner (all in all, about $12) and says "So you're coming to the Beer Garden now, right?" I said, "No. Actually, I have to go and get my laundry. I just stopped in to have a quick bite while my clothes are drying and I was going to read." (Motion to the book.)
"Well, can I walk you to the Laundromat?"
"Um, no. But I will walk you to the Beer Garden."

So I walk Mario the Croatian to the Beer Garden. He gives me his number and says I should call him. (He does not get my number, real or fake. YES!) I walked to the laundromat, got my laundry out of the dryer, and walked a mile around my neighborhood with my laundry bag on my shoulder before going home, just in case I was being followed.

I smell smart and get free sushi.

The End.


plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Haha, funny stuff. Feel an affinity with this blog as mine too is all about dating disasters - though they're all my own.

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