A funny, disastrous, Christian 20-something and her friends describe their funny, disastrous and sometimes not-so-Christian dates.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Disastrous Dates, explained.

I've started a numbered list of the Disastrous Dates on the right sidebar, and I figured these titles deserve explanations. So, in brief,

#1 - The First Disaster

He was not so bad himself, but the circumstances surrounding the date were pretty ridiculous. This, my first blind date, occurred during my junior year in college. I arrived 30 minutes late to his apartment for a double-date (with my friend and her boyfriend, who was my date's roommate) after getting stuck at the bottom of a hill in Ithaca during a snowstorm, driving in reverse up the hill, and slamming my thumb in my car door. I also nearly choked on the spicy curry at dinner. Indian Guy #1 was not interested.

#2 - Dunkin' Donuts Guy

Went on dates with, but didn't date, this guy for nearly a year. It all began with a blind date set up by a mutual friend. I stopped returning his calls after he a.)didn't want to stay for the unprecedented encores (3 of them!!) given at Maurizio Pollini recital and b.)made me walk in heels and with no coat from my apartment in the muddy grass to a Dunkin' Donuts for dinner.

#3 - Chinese Dumplings Guy

The worst date ever. I left a perfectly fun Labor Day Weekend camping trip with friends to visit this guy's apartment, which was an hour away. (In retrospect, this was an extremely poor choice on my part. My camping friends remind me of this at every possible moment.) He answered the door in a dirty T-shirt and jeans, and proceeded to take every opportunity to feel me up while demonstrating the techniques required for making dumplings. I was of course awful at making said dumplings, so between shouts of "You must practice more! Practice more!" and gropes at my unmentionable parts, I came up with an excuse to leave that involved a lie so elaborate and hilarious that it can't be repeated here. Also, his apartment was filled with Santa Claus dolls and figurines; apparently, after living in the USA for six years, he remained unaware of the fact that Santa is a seasonal figure.

#4 - The Vegan Virgin.
Tonight's date. While he is a delightful person despite his unfortunate Unitarian leanings, I learned how he managed to survive two long-term relationships without giving up his virginity: he is clearly afraid of sex with women.

6 comments:

Carly Fowler said...
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Ms. H said...
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Disastress said...
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Anonymous said...

The Chinese Dumplings Incident is one of the greatest dating stories of all time. It must be fully revealed. As a person intimately involved in getting Disastress out of the Incident, I feel it must be shared with the world.

~Former roommate and perpetual friend of the blogger.

Anonymous said...

As one of the delightful camping friends involved in the Chinese Dumplings Incident, I feel the need to suggest that you reveal the full details of that disaster. Inquiring blog-reader minds would like to know, I'm sure ;)

Melisa Messer said...

I enjoyed all of these, but the Chinese Dumpling story had me actually laughing out loud. I'm gonna link this post in an article I'm putting together on my 20 favorite internet dating disaster stories. Here's the link if you're interested in checking it out: http://www.datingwebsite.com/blog/2012/disaster-dates/

Thanks for sharing your story, it's always good to know you aren't alone!

Melissa